Friday, November 04, 2005
The Wait
Well, the wait is an interesting thing....I started paperchasing about a year before I thought I would, so when this adoption began ahead of my presupposed schedule, I thought to myself, "I will never stress and follow rumors like all of those parents in waiting. It will be so easy to be calm and paitient because, afterall, this adoption is WAY ahead of schedule!" It's shocking, but I really did say this to myself. About a month into the paperchase I started feeling like I was part of the Amazing Race (boy do I love that show). I literally felt and feel like I am in a race and Eliza in my arms in the destination. This wait has turned into the age old "I'll be happy when...." I DO NOT live my life like that, but alas, that is what life has turned into for me..."I'll be happy when....if only I were in China right now....I'll stop stressing as soon as...." This is no way to carry on, but I'm sure someone out there in Blogland can relate...right? I've decided to reframe things. I can and will wait for my baby. I will go on with my life and be productive. I will enjoy things as they are now and look forward to the future while not obsessing over it. After all, it's not a race. Eliza will be with me when she is...that's all there is to it. I can't make this happen any faster. I cannot plan the dates in advance (have I mentioned that I LOVE to plan?). All I can do is wait... and wait I will. I will come out of this the biggest winner...I will have Eliza and she will be with me forever.
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5 comments:
Tiffany-
You are so wise. Enjoy every moment being FREE. Stay out late, sleep in, go to non-kid friendly movies and resturants. Soon enough you will partying it up at Chucky Cheese with Disney movies and in bed by 7:30 pm....
Lisa and Tate
Hey, I'll try if you will. My LID is 10/11/05 and I'm thinking of taking up yoga, meditation or something so I can chill out a bit. Like you, this will be my first so I reckon it's natural to be excited. But there is a difference between excited and anxious. It's a fine line that I cross all the time. Good luck with the wait. We're all waiting with you.
Krista
I hear you girl- it's Tamara W- fellow July Dragonfly. It's like I think adoption/ China constantly, but like you work must go on! he he
Tamara
I enjoy your blog. I am in your July Dragonflies group and can totally relate to the agony of the wait! I look forward to swapping referral picture with you!
Heather
LID July 20, 2005 for Sydney (or Twins!)
www.EncinosaFamily.com
OMG! You say... "I will never stress and follow rumors like all of those parents in waiting. It will be so easy to be calm and paitient because, afterall, this adoption is WAY ahead of schedule!" THIS IS ME NOW!!! Are you telling me that this attitude of mine will surely change?!! Oh no, I thought the anxiety/stress ended with the paperchase! Yikes! Well, I wish you a very short wait!!!!
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