It's indescribable how much I love her. It's the kind of love that makes me feel like I'm going to burst with pride when she accomplishes something new. Sometimes I feel like I'll also burst worrying about her well-being. I knew that becoming a parent would be the biggest, most important thing I would ever do, but I had no idea what it would really feel like. People say that being a parent is the most difficult job. They are right. I guess I used to think it would be difficult in the physical or logistical sense...sleepless nights, sickness, etc. These things are hard, but not because it is inconvenient for me. It's hard because I love her so much. I can't tell you how many nights I have spent lying in bed worrying. When she's not sleeping I wonder why. When she cries the minute I leave the room or when a family member says hello to her it is my job to determine if it's teething, normal development or attachment issues. I worried today when she was watching her signing time DVD today and said, "dad" and wondered how she will come to terms with the fact that our family doesn't have a dad. It's not all worry, I also lie in bed and thank my lucky stars that I am hers and she is mine. She makes want to be the best I can be. How lucky am I?
20 comments:
That is so amazing to me. I can't believe you got that, how priceless!!!!! Talk to you soon!!!
Jme
Congrats on your finding ad-isn't Brian the best? I totally understand your worry, I still worry about Amelia all the time and I wonder if that feeling ever lessens or goes away? I feel like I am the only one in the world that can keep her safe-weird I know. Anyway, I love your site and your finding ad picture is just precious-how lucky you have one since he said they are rare in your province!
Tracy
Finally in LA where we don't have internet blocking~ We could check in on your site. Wow! She has grown in 2 weeks. Great finding ad. Thanks for your encouraging words during our trip and our "rough Patch."
Tiffany, I also wanted to say, how much we enjoyed being witht the Passey's. I know you are good friends with them. They have been such strength to us. We were asked not to say to much on our blog. It has been hard not to talk about it. We still mourn and cry everyday. Nate has been a blessing! You are lucky to work with her and know her so well. She has and is helping us deal with our feelings. Cute baby you have and great mom you are.
I'm so happy that Brian was able to find Eliza's F.A., what a great piece of her history to have. You are being a great Mum and though the worry will always be there know that just a phone call away someone will help talk you though the worries and stress the best that they can.
WOW! I agree- so lucky!
Oh how life has changed!
Lucky beyond compare, mom :0)
What a wonderful post! You certainly captured the joy and anxiety of being a parent. You and Eliza are so fortunate to have each other...
Tiffany,
This is so sweet! Thanks for sharing.
Ok, thanks for making me choke up at work! That was just sweet, Tiff. It really was. I can't wait to have the worries and joys! You have been such an inspiration to me -- I mean that!
Tearing up.... great post.
How sweet is that little face in her finding ad?
You are so very lucky but you already know that!!! Very touching post too. I can't wait to be in your shoes :)
It's so amazing that you were able to get a picture of tiny Eliza and that it's so clear. What a keepsake treasure!
Great post! What a precious gift to have Eliza's posting. Also, thanks for continuing to blog with such honesty about the ups and downs on single motherhood. Those of us "in waiting" appreciate your perspective!
Look at her tiny self! I love seeing all your updates. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
You are lucky to have that extra black and white photo of your sweet girl and you are so very lucky to be her mama. This was a very sweet post that got me all teary eyed. Thanks for sharing it.
OMG Tiffany you are going to have to stop all these emotional posts...I'm sitting her over my keyboard blubbering like a fool...I've cryed so much over the last few days...I'm surprised I still have water for tears! Eliza is so blessed to have you for a mom! Her finding ad is just precious...such a treasure for her when she is older.
Wow, that really is her, no doubts. I have a finding ad for Nora, no picture and a finding ad for Mimi with a picture that probably isn't her. I didn't know how much I wanted to see an early picture of my Mimi until I burst into tears afte staring at it for a long time because it wasn't what I had hoped it would be and I'm not usually that weepy. I'm so happy for you that you have this glimpse of tiny Eliza, she is a treasure.
There are plenty of things to worry about - her saying "Dad" isn't one of them. We just say that every family is different. In our family Leah can't her and Lucy uses a wheelchair. Daddy is really tall, mommy is short.
Some families have moms, or a mom, some have dads, or a dad and some have a mom and dad. Same goes for brothers and sisters - you may have them, you may not.
Hope you rest a little easier. by the way, she is a DOLL!
Thanks for blogging about Signing Time:
www.signingtime.com
www.signingtime.com/rachel
What a treasured picture!! I cannot wait until I get Channing's in the mail!!! There is no doubt that that is Eliza....what a beautiful baby she was!!
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