Well, today confirmed that I do, in fact, know my child very well. She did exactly as I expected she would. We got to school at around 8:30. I sat with her for about 1/2 hour so she could get used to the place. At 9:00 I gave her a kiss and told her to have fun and I would be back later. She cried and screamed. I could hear her all the way outside at my car. I called around 9:30 and they said she was starting to settle down, which I knew was code for 'she's still crying'. At 11:00 I called and they said she was still hysterical, so I went and got her (I was only planning on leaving her for 2 hours unless she was doing unexpectedly well). When I got there she was sitting in one of the teacher's lap crying while a story was being read. Her voice was a bit hoarse from screaming and she had a band-aid on her thumb from biting it as she was sucking (extreme thumb sucking is her stress indicator). I brought her back to my office and she was her normal, full-of-it, happy self. She ate lunch, pooped, danced and read books. We'll do the same routine tomorrow.
I was happy enough with daycare today. Eliza needed more attention than some of the other kids there and she got it. I was happy to see her allowing someone besides me to hold and try and comfort her when I walked in. I was shocked to see how fast Eliza recovered from her rough morning. Within seconds of me picking her up she was eating, laughing and talking to the ladies I work with. I thought I was going to be dealing with a very clingy girl the rest of the afternoon. Things are completely back to normal with her.
I have been talking about school in a very upbeat way this afternoon. Our conversation goes something like this:
Me: Eliza, you went to school today!
Eliza: said, "Cry" as she scrunched up her face to tell me she cried at school.
Me: Did you cry? School is fun. You can be happy! Did you have a cookie?
Eliza: Cookie.
Me: Yes! You played outside, read a story and had a cookie! You get to go again tomorrow!
I'm sure she doesn't understand that she gets to go to school every day. I am anticipating the same thing tomorrow. I would say day 2 might be worse, but it really couldn't be much worse. All in all, it was a stressful morning, but exactly what I anticipated. I'm definitely not excited about tomorrow (but I'll act like I am!). I wish I knew how long it would take for her adjust, but there isn't an answer for that. It will take how ever long it takes.
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19 comments:
Poor little thing. It broke my heart! Good thinking to talk to her about what she did that was fun. I am sure if she focuses on that she will come around. Good luck!
Oh poor momma! These are the days I'm not looking forward to. Hang in there.
I feel for ya. I am dreading when that day comes for me.
Poor Eliza and poor Mommy!! Keeping everything crossed that tomorrow goes smoother.
Good luck! Hopefully it gets better and better! Hang in there Tiffany.
Oh I'm so sorry -- for both you and Eliza -- that it was a tough day. Ugh. Crossing fingers and toes that it gets a little better each day. Man oh man it sounds hard on the heart.
Awww, that's rough stuff! Good thing she has a mom like you that will get her through it!
Poor baby! Hoping that she figures out soon that day care is fun and that Mommy will be back. Hang in there Mom :)
Daycare transition is SO hard. The beginning is the absolute rip-your-heart-out worst.
Mali cried/screamed/tossed a fit each & every morning when I dropped her off for the first 2 months. After that, she was ok.
If it's the least bit encouraging, we survived the initial daycare transition - & it helped Mali in amazing ways. She learned to trust me (in leaving her there). Her social skills, independence & self confidence blossomed as well.
Best wishes to you & Eliza!
I hope tomorrow is easier.
I adopted my daughter 6 months ago, but I won't return to teaching until after Christmas. I'm already dreading that transition!
Thanks for sharing your experiences on this blog. I'm grateful to learn from other single moms.
I am so sorry, Tiff. Has she done norsery at church? Anna freaked the first few times but now goes right in. We also leave her with Athen to be babysat alot, that may have worked her in. Your sister helped you alot so she has had someone else stay with her. It is probably just so hard with all of the unfamiliar stuff. I hope she adjust quickly.
poor eliza, poor mommy... i'm crossing fingers and toes that tomorrow goes better...
Oh Tiffany- as you had predicted. You are such a great mama and yes- she will transition and I am certain- love daycare. She's so active and interactive....it's just transition time. She's lucky to have such an understanding and loving mama! That daycare is wonderful (I've heard nothing but good things) and she's in good hands. I hope things go smoother. Let me know if you need any help. I'll have Charlee all day on Thurs this week if you need me to pick her up or you can drop her off for some play time so you can do work. Hugs!
Leanne
Oh, the Mama guilt! Keeping talking up the FUN she can have at school. My girl cried for the 1st 2 weeks... maybe some occasional mild protesting off and on after that, but now likes to go. (Sometimes Mondays are harder after being with you 100% for 2 days) Now when I say time to go to school, she echos "school" and heads to the door.
Sounds like you know Eliza very well....at least her reaction was not unexpected and it is bound to get easier and easier every day. She's such a cutie.
Good for you for keeping the conversation with her positive and upbeat (even though I'm sure it wasn't easy for you!) She will come around! Fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow (for you both!)
Sorry it didn't go so well. It's just crappy for you both. It will help that she'll go everyday. Hopefully tomorrow will be better?
oh tiff, i get little knots in my stomach reading this. you are so strong and eliza will be just fine. it sounds like it is a really good day care. i'll be wishing good days ahead for her!
Sounds like mom is well adjusted! Hope it goes better tomorrow and the day after and the day after that! Good luck to both of you!
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