Don't you just love when a phone call comes just at the right time? It has been a really rough couple of weeks for me, and I'm finally starting feel human again. Eliza had the croup and ran a fever from Sat. to Wed. of last week, so I was home with her. I really thought I was going to loose my mind. She was so fussy all day (and night) and I hate to admit it, but there was more than one time that I had to put her in her crib and tell her to let me know when she was done crying while I stepped outside to take a breath and get away from the crying. Then, as if things weren't stressful enough, she was climbing and fell flat on her face. Her nose bled everywhere and I was (and still am) concerned that she hit her front teeth. I threw away the shirt I was wearing because it was so bloody and I called the dentist. Then...to top it off there has been family drama regarding my sensitivity to comments regarding adoption, China, etc. and being overprotective. Yes, I am overprotective. And why, when things are at their worst do I always have to wonder if any (or all) of it is adoption related? Will I always do this? I have to say that Eliza has had minor adoption related issues, but when things are crazy I can't differentiate. There were many times during the last 10 days or so that I literally yelled, "Calgon take me away!" So, if things seem fine on the outside, they aren't always. Anyhow, back to my original thought. My friend Susan called the other day just to say, "Have you ever felt..."? Suddenly I didn't feel like such a freak. Thanks, friend!
***Back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow where I will give Eliza's 21 month update. Thanks for listening or, rather, reading my vent.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
Boy I think all mom's go through it. I am also accused of being too sensitive on the adoption related issues. I think if you hear a mom say nothing like this ever happens to her or that she never feels this way, then she is either being dishonest or she is a lunatic with split personalities and you got the childless personality to answer. It will get better. Maybe she just bruised her tooth instead of great damage. Gotta watch the climbers. I have an acrobat on my hands, I am just waiting...
Beverly
I think what you're feeling is oh so normal! I deal with some of these things and Hannah is only in my heart.
((hugs)) friend.
And...when you figure it all out can you pass it down to us? LOL!
Happy Thanksgiving!
First of all hopefully you've given yourself a break by now, and if not, do yourself a favor and do it! Not that I was in anyway happy to hear you were having trouble but I was relieved to see I was not the only mom who was having these types of issues. Your courage to share the story helps many of us more than you know. Count that as another reason that I admire you as a GREAT mom. P.S. There have been moments during Tess' sleeping issues or due to teething that I too have had to step out of the room while she was crying for me desperately, it only helped the situation, so don't feel guilty about it.
Sorry to hear that things have been rough lately and hopefully they are easing up for you. Know that I'm only a phone call away...hint, hint!! Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving to both of you.
I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a hard time recently - I can COMPLETELY relate.
I, too, have had to leave Mali screaming to step away on numerous occassions. It's tough (especially being single!) not having someone to relieve you on a regular basis - even if it's just for a few moments. Of course, things get so much worse when they're sick. Don't feel guilty about it - I know it's difficult, but I'm sure you do things in Eliza's best interest.
In a tantrum about 2 weeks ago (while dropping her off at school), Mali actually broke one of my toes. At that point, I exited - leaving school to deal with her. I felt awful all day, but it was best. I certainly needed a moment.
I always wonder about adoption-related issues, too. It's a tough call. I'm sure we've had some issues that directly related to Mali's history. I do my best to find some type of balance between being 'aware' of the issues . . . without jumping to conclusions or blaming things on Mali's past. I'm not sure that will ever go away. In the end, I often think that it doesn't really matter why certain behaviors rear their ugly heads. Mali is Mali & we deal with one issue at a time - regardless of why she's demonstrating the (particular) behavior. Right now, for example, she's picking the skin off her fingers. I can't monitor her 24/7, and it could possibly be a sensory issue. We talk about it (& I freak about germs), but in the end - she still picks. & I'm sure some (non-adopted) kids pick their skin, too.
Hope things are looking up for you soon - looking fwd to Eliza's update!
I can't speak from my own experience yet but from what I've heard all moms have their moments.
My single mom friend called last week cuz she was at the end of her rope with her 2 yr old. So she came over and I made her a margarita while I entertained her daughter. She just really needed a break from the whining, crying, climbing all over her. Hang in there. It's hard when you're doing it on your own.
Tiffany,
Calgon does not work no matter how much you pour in the tub. Just the facts, sorry to break it to you so bluntly, but forget that plan. However, calling a BTDT mom for a little respite does. Give me your croupy, feverish bundle, I can stand the crying. Really, and the bonus, we make house calls. Not just saying this, if you need a break and you don't have time to plan like packing the diaper bag, pulling her into the car, etc., and you just need to escape to go grocery shop, we can be there in 20 minutes and won't give you any crap like, "well, you asked for this," like some families are known to dish out, not that I'm naming names (my mother). REALLY.
Marji and her four expert child entertainers
Wow...you've really been through it this week. Hopefully things will look up soon. And I am also accused of being overprotective, so don't worry. You're the Mama, and it's OK. Nobody knows your baby like you do. (I've been told that Chloe is spoiled, and I say, "GOOD!") Hang in there!!!
Tiff,
Usually bad days, weeks, months and years, are a mix of emotional issues. You have many things that can pile up without even knowing it until something bigger break the dam. Seriously, life is full of physical, emotional, spiritual challenges that can somehow repeat themselves when you think perhaps you have put it behind you.
You are doing great with all your challenges, that doesn't mean they will go away.
These holiday seasons are another thing that can bring up other issues also.
Life is a series of waves, some tidal waves that almost kill you off, some you can swim over, and some you can swim under. Mostly it's just a cycle of all of the above.
Hang in there Tiff. Just do what is absolutely necessary and dump the rest.
Life will go on if you aren't everything to everybody!
Pam
p.s. Happy Thanksgiving
P.s. Merry Christmas
p.s. Happy New Year
all of that said...Mmmmm STRESS
Tiffany -- I'm sorry you've had it so rough recently and I hope Eliza is feeling better. You're a fabulous mother...never doubt it. I, too, wonder and worry constantly about adoption-related issues. I believe our girls are thriving beautifully despite all the many challenges we face as parents.
I hope you and Eliza have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving.
Oh, I can relate to the "wondering if it's adoption issues" and then realizing I have my own adoption issues - so sad over what she lost and went through. And when they (or you) are sick for an extended period you begin to lose perspective and it is so easy to get overwhelmed. And as for the family drama - a family member told me that I was way too attentive to Abbey and that I was feeding her too much (she still wears 18 mo at 2 and 1/2). A nice lady at church just told me that loving your child too much is the fastest way to spoil them. Ayiyiyi!
You are doing great even though this is a rough patch and we can all relate. Hang in there!
I am sorry you have been feeling discouraged lately. It is true...when it rains, it does pour. I have felt down too. We need to have a "Pick me up, Ice Cream get-together." Its funny how we think we are alone, but we aren't. In fact it is the opposite. The other day I was so tired I actually thought... "can really I be a mom for 20 plus years?" We need to hang together and have a Long nap! LOVE YOU TIFF! You are amazing!
Been there many times...it's all part of being a mommy. But you're doing a great job, so don't sweat it!
Post a Comment